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heidimaetrix

What is something you’re looking forward to doin

What is something you’re looking forward to doing once your fully vaccinated?
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For me it’s FINALLY being able to visit Japan for the first time! I’ve wanted to go for years and I had the worst luck that I just happened to choose my visit for when there’d be a global pandemic and I would have to cancel🤦🏼‍♀️ Japan 2022 is now what I’m looking forward to most of all.💗

What are your plans for the week? I’ll just be h

What are your plans for the week? I’ll just be hanging out with my little stuffed animal family💗

1, or 2? Help me decide🤔 Whichever photo gets t

#gifted Oh hi there! I want to get to know you bet

#gifted Oh hi there! I want to get to know you better, where are you from and what’s your favorite animal?
I’m from #springfieldmo and my favorite animal is a cat! 😻
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Peach set @dollskill
Choker @devil666ish
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#dollskill #pastelfashion #pastelgoth #egirls #egirlstyle

Guess who didn’t have any panic attacks or wake

Guess who didn’t have any panic attacks or wake up covered in sweat last night?! This girl right here! Also it’s the first night in weeks that I didn’t have any nightmares! Still waking up at 5 AM, but that’s nothing compared to what most of my nights since my January panic attack/ER visit have been like!

Happy Easter! I hope you’re chowing down on lots

Happy Easter! I hope you’re chowing down on lots of yummy candy! But I just realized that all the candy holidays are done until Halloween!😭
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Top by @serpenti_apparel
Skirt @yesstyle
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#springfieldmo #pastelgirl #pastelaesthetic #pastelfashion #egirloutfit #egirls

Guess who just got her first dose of the #covidvac

Guess who just got her first dose of the #covidvaccine ?! This minty lady! 🥰 although getting the vaccine with an anxiety disorder wasn’t any fun because chest pain is a symptom of an allergic reaction AND it’s one of my panic attack symptoms. So of course I had a panic attack while waiting in the room after my shot, and had to alert the nurses and stay for an extra hour to make sure it was just a panic attack and nothing else!
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#minthair #egirlaesthetic #egirlmakeup #egirls #springfieldmo

What’s your favorite dessert? Mine is banana cre

What’s your favorite dessert? Mine is banana cream pudding, or cake with whipped cream frosting! I dunno why but buttercream frosting makes my mouth feel funny, and not in a nice way.
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Top @serpenti_apparel
Belt @yesstyle
Collar @pameopose
Skirt @forloveandlemons

Talked to my psychiatrist today and he said that p

Talked to my psychiatrist today and he said that part of my insomnia was because I was mistakenly taking my Effexor at bedtime!🤦🏼‍♀️ he also said the dose of Effexor that I started on wasn’t the treatment dose for anxiety, and now that I’m taking the medication well he can up the dosage to treat my anxiety and panic attacks. So here’s to hoping that in 1-2 weeks they can become a thing of the past.

Thank you @serpenti_apparel for sending me the per

Thank you @serpenti_apparel for sending me the perfect pastel pieces for my Easter Aesthetic!🎀🐰 seriously how cute is this bodysuit?!
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#easter2021 #pastelgirl #pastelfeed #serpenti #pastelaesthetic #pastelfashion

What are your plans for the weekend? I’ll be bin

What are your plans for the weekend?
I’ll be binge watching #highriseinvasion after I finish #zacksnydersjusticeleague ! These past two days my anxiety has vanished. It’s been a solid two months of elevated anxiety and near nightly panic attacks so for the first time I finally feel relaxed😴

Thank you for all the love and support and well wi

Thank you for all the love and support and well wishes for my mammogram yesterday. I am so relieved to say that the lump in my breast was just a harmless fat deposit trapped between Breast tissue! It also seems like my panic attacks are slowing down in response to the good news. I’ve only had one panic attack today, versus the three I had two days ago!
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Headpiece @devil666ish stockings are @devilinspiredofficial wig and wings are Amazon.
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#menhera #fairykei #pastelkei #yamikawaii #harajukufashion #yumekawaii #egirl #springfieldmo

I had a panic attack this morning, one second I’

I had a panic attack this morning, one second I’m playing on my phone, the next, I feel like I can’t breathe and my heart is hammering in my chest.
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Tomorrow at 7:30 AM is the mammogram and ultrasound for the lump in my breast. And even though consciously I’m ok, my anxiety is having a field day with it. The closer I get to the test the worse my anxiety has gotten. I’m just trying my best to just keep it together until I get the results (which thankfully will happen while I’m there)
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Headpiece by @devil666ish
Stockings from @devilinspiredofficial

Welcome to my #menhera series! I want to open up c

Welcome to my #menhera series! I want to open up conversations about #mentalillness and help destigmatize it, and the treatment surrounding it. Please feel free to ask me any questions about my personal battle with mental illness, or my experience getting treatment for it.
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#yamikawaii Headpiece from @devil666ish ❤️

One last shot from my shoot @stgeorgesdonuts ! Ser

One last shot from my shoot @stgeorgesdonuts ! Seriously could see myself making this a monthly a thing. Hopefully more places here in #springfieldmo follow their lead and create pastel wonderlands for me to play in!🎀

Right after this shoot I went to Walmart still in

Right after this shoot I went to Walmart still in this look to pick up my medication. Which is when a middle aged white man harassed me while he filmed me on his phone. He yelled “is it penicillin?!”repeatedly at me. The fucking audacity to imply that I’m a slut while filming me made me so shaken, that I had a panic attack in the parking lot.

My yearly doctor’s checkup yesterday confirmed t

My yearly doctor’s checkup yesterday confirmed that I do have a lump in my left breast, (I found it about two weeks ago) so now I have an altra sound and a mammogram scheduled for the 22nd to fully investigate it. I didn’t think I was anxious about it. But a couple mini panic attacks yesterday during the day, and a doozy of a panic attack at 3AM this morning says otherwise!🤦🏼‍♀️😜 But I’m not going to let it ruin my day. Just gotta take the hits and keep on going.

BIG NEWS there is now officially a pastel pink (an

BIG NEWS there is now officially a pastel pink (and blue) place to shoot in #springfieldmo ! @stgeorgesdonuts on Sunshine street remodeled and it’s GORGEOUS! Literally all of my pastel dreams came true! If you shoot there please support them by buying their donuts and pastries (they’re to die for!)

Enjoying the view in my custom Danganronpa Monomi

Enjoying the view in my custom Danganronpa Monomi jacket

Sleepy Sundays are my favorite💕😴 Sweatshirt

Sleepy Sundays are my favorite💕😴
Sweatshirt by @kawaii.amai

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Recent Posts

A Night At Culture Boutique Hotel March 10, 2019
Overalls Outfits for Date Night, Brunch, and Beyond. December 29, 2018
Road Tripping Iceland: Do’s, Don’ts and Tips. October 26, 2018
Exploring a real life ice castle inspired by “Adventure Time” March 1, 2018
First blog post January 16, 2018

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